Final Destination: Blood Lines
Final Destination: Blood Lines is playing in theaters at the time of writing. Rated R. Common Sense says 16+.
After a woman’s premonition prevents a horrific disaster, Death comes back to finish the job. Will she and her family be able to stay one step ahead of Death and survive?
STORY: B
A killer game of connect the dots.
This story isn’t complicated. It’s not pretentious. It’s not precious. It’s not interested in revealing any deep insights of the human condition.
What the story is is a clever, ridiculous premise sewn together with a series of fun (albeit morbid and violent) puzzles. Each kill unspools like a demonic Rube Goldberg machine, and the thrill springs from trying to suss out the 2.189 steps that will lead to a character’s demise before it happens.
PEOPLE: B-
An emotional last turn.
The film marks Final Destination alum Tony Todd’s last performance (he passed away from stomach cancer in November). His final words in the film are the final words of his career. The monologue is a poignant flare that briefly fills the film’s silly skies with a beautiful light.
The rest of the cast does splendid work, particularly the magnetic Richard Harmon as Erik. His “can’t be bothered” attitude plays wonderfully against the rest of his frazzled, panicking castmates.
FILM NERD STUFF: B+
Look out for that spork.
Editing creates context. Here, it guides our attention to gently swaying chandeliers, champagne corks, cracking flan, sizzling flambe. To trampolines, ice trays, leaf blowers, and soccer balls. Since we know death is lurking behind every corner, the editing transforms these everyday harmless objects into devices of mass destruction.
Sometimes the shot lingers a little long on an object. Other times, several of them fly across the screen like scared gazelles. The editing pens the message, and the message is this: anything and everything can kill you.
ONE BIG LESSON: C-
Ignorance is bliss.
I can’t fully explain this lesson without spoiling the ending. But take note of what’s said right before death reappears at the end. Would death have come back without this new bit of knowledge?
I’d argue not. And that shows how strong the power of firmly held beliefs can be.
FINAL COMMENTS:
This is a violent movie, and if you don’t like violent movies then definitely skip this one.
If you do like violent movies, this one is extremely fun and entertaining. Fans of the franchise won’t be disappointed. Newbies will catch on quickly and enjoy the ride.
Just be warned of one major side effect that lasts 24-48 hours after watching the film: you will carefully consider the dozens of ways that every little thing lying around you can kill you. Reader, I kid you not when I tell you that I skipped the spork the next day and ate my lunch with my bare hands.
You can’t be too careful.